Wednesday, October 31, 2007

One of Those Days

Two days in a row now, I have had 'one of those days'. Yesterday, my daughter was almost late to school because I sat in the parking lot waiting for cars to move so I could actually park my car and walk her back. Right after that I went to the grocery store. Grabbed a cart, picked out some produce. After that I left the cart for no more than two minutes while I went looking for some things in the aisle (I do not like to take the cart down the aisles - because invariably someone parks their cart cross ways and blocks the aisle). About the time that I left the cart, there was a store manager asking if I needed help finding anything, and I said I did not. He asked me if I was sure about that...(what the heck???).

So I go on about my business, find the stuff I wanted, and came back to find that my cart was gone. I went to the front of the store and that same manager had taken my cart (he saw me with it in the first place) because he assumed it was abandoned. Good grief, wait 15 minutes, if it is still there, it is abandoned, but three minutes tops? I was so angry. I have had my shopping cart taken from me in stores more times than I can count. Usually the cart taken is empty, so it is not such a pain. But I had hand picked some apples and bananas, so I was royally upset.

Today, I feel blah. I lack hope today. Don't quite know why, but I do. I have been dealing with some chronic issues, which I do not care to divulge online. Suffice to say that I am lacking the emotional strength and fortitude to deal capably with the situation. I am depressed and the situation is not resolving at all. I feel really defeated. I wish I could be optimistic about this but I cannot.

Depression is an awful thing. I hate the hopelessness and the defeat. Perhaps tomorrow I will feel better, but today I just do not. I am just tired, tired, tired. And I cannot get any traction in this and other areas of my life.

I know, once the air quality gets better, that I will probably get better and more hopeful, emotionally, but dang, I am tired of waiting.

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