Thursday, October 21, 2010


Last night, we went to the candlelight vigil for the children who committed suicide as a result of anti-gay bullying. It is so sad, that they gave up and saw no other way.

I remember the bullying I received in school because I was tall, skinny, and a "little different". It was painful. I managed to survive a suicide attempt as well. At the time, I told myself that I sucked so bad that I could not even kill myself right.

I know this post is kind of bouncing all over the place, but I still have difficulty facing the pain of that era in my life head on. I am not sure if I will ever be able to.

We had a conversation with K about bullying. I asked her if she had seen any bullying at school, and she said that she had not. We told her that if she ever did, that she should stand up and say something, and if that did not work to stop it, that she should find an adult to deal with it. I wish more people would stand up against bullying when they see it. I wish that Mr. Wolf would have done something about the boy who repeatedly punched me in the back of the head in high school. I know he saw what was happening, but because Mr. Wolf thought I was a reprobate, he did nothing.

For all who are bullied, and are feeling worthless. You are not worthless. You have value, you are beautiful. Don't give up. It really does get better.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Better Mood Today

Probably because it is Friday, and K will not have to do 56 hours of homework tonight. Have I mentioned that IUSD is really big on overloading the poor kids with hours of busy work. Most of the homework is just plain makework to "prepare them for the NCLB" testing and does not teach anything besides how to be a dutiful future paper pusher. In my humble opinion, this is not education.

OK, rant over. Last night, I had to kick myself in the hiney to get myself to choir practice, it is not that I did not want to be there, I just did not want to leave the house. Yes, I am in kind of an agoraphobic funk right now. I am so glad I forced myself to go. It was truly what my psyche needed.

After choir practice, one of my friends called me to tell me to turn on Project Runway, because it was a really good episode, and I am so glad I did. I am not going to spoil too much of it, except to say that I loved the fabric that Mondo designed (and his inspiration for it) and that if I were like 15 pounds lighter, I would SO rock the pants he designed. I get tears in my eyes still thinking about it. After Project Runway was over, I called my friend back and we had a really cool talk about the show and about life in general. We talked about our sadness over the rash of young people committing suicide lately, and while we did not solve the world's problems, we did get to share what was on our minds and hearts. I love that!

This week has been fairly difficult. Monday it was 110 degrees outside and the rest of the week it was in the 90s and kind of humid. I have asthma symptoms when the weather gets like this. But I am glad to see the heatwave break, and as a bonus we had drizzle and lightning last night as well as thunder this morning. I LOVE thunderstorms.

Happy Friday everyone! Hope you all have a fun and restful weekend.