Monday, January 25, 2010


Sometimes it feels to me like I am in way over my head in life. I am having one of those days today. I definitely feel today like I am not good enough, I don't feel like I fit in, and that all I am is a big pretender.

Aren't I a little bit advanced in years to be feeling this? Don't most people grow out of these floating feelings of inadequacy by the time they are in their thirties? I am almost 46 years old and my insides feel like I am 14. Not fun.

Most of the time I can maintain with all this crap below the surface, but sometimes it bubbles over, like today, for example. I suppose it could be female hormonal stuff, intensifying it, but I have no idea if that is it, because I had the hysterectomy about a year ago, and so I no longer know what my hormonal cycle is.

My children deserve a better and more confident mother.


Jeff said...

I'm not sure about what to say but the first paragraph could describe a good part of how I've been feeling lately.Please get better.(((HUG)))


P.S:Happy belated birthday to your son.

huskerlaw said...

I think everyone has days like this, regardless of age. One thing I've learned is that often times, the people who seem the most confident and the most together are merely the best actors.

One of the best gifts you can give your children is to show them that life is a continuous growth process. We all have days where we think we're less than we should be, and we learn something about ourselves and move on.